Merry Christmas Team Gibbs
by Gail Cregg
Summary: What's the perfect gift for a senior field agent, a probie, an assassin, a forensic scientist, a medical examiner, a Director or the Boss? Abby's favorite carol? Read these NCIS Christmas one-shots and find out.
1. Tony

NCIS Squad Room. A few days before Christmas.

Tony enters the bullpen humming and pretends not to notice that Tim and Ziva stop talking immediately. That had been happening a lot recently and he was starting to suspect that as Abby would say something hinky was going on. He was determined to find out what because as senior field agent he really should be part of it.

"Good morning Zee-vah."

"Morning Tony."

"Morning Probie-one. What's happening?"

"Nothing. That is...we were...Ziva..." McGee stutters blushing. Tony grins.

"We were just wondering where you were." Ziva interrupts trying to cover Tim's awkwardness.

Tony head slaps him. "What was that for?" Tim asks rubbing the back of his head and glaring at DiNozzo.

"Never question your senior field agent's actions McJunior. As it happens I was stuck in traffic. Now don't you have work you should be doing?"

"Don't you _all_ have work you should be doing?" interjects Gibbs from behind them.

"On it Boss" his team respond guiltily as they hurry back to their desks.

The same day. Lunchtime.

Ziva's phone rings and as Gibbs has left the room Tony doesn't even pretend to be working as he tries to figure out who she is talking to.

"Officer David." She listens a moment. "He is unavailable currently but I am happy to help." Her smile broadens. "No, that's O.K. I'll come right down. It is not a problem at all." She hangs up the phone and rises from behind her desk.

"Who was that?"

"My lunch date has arrived."

"Your lunch date? Who is he?" This was not news he was happy to hear. Surely Ziva should've told him about anyone she was seeing? Given him a chance to check the guy out.

"No-one you know" she responds grinning before walking out.

Scowling now Tony returns to his work. A few minutes later he is glaring at his computer screen and doesn't even look up when he senses someone standing in front of his desk.

"What?"

"I thought you might like to meet my lunch date Tony."

Tony raises his eyes from his monitor and his jaw drops as realises exactly who it is standing next to Ziva.

"Oh my God! How did this happen? How did you...can I..."

"Hi Tony. I hear you're a big fan of some of my work. Your colleagues arranged that we have lunch together so we could talk about it."

"Mr Selleck it would be an honor. I have so many questions but firstly..." he turns to Ziva "Why did you do this? And how did you do this?"

"Merry Christmas Tony. This is your present from the team and as for how it turns out that..."

"Mr Selleck is a big fan of Mr Gemcity " McGee explains entering the bullpen "and we share the same publisher."

"Thom I mean Tim graciously signed copies of his books for me so when he called to ask this favor I was happy to oblige."

"The Boss even said you can take a long lunch" Ziva adds.

"He did?"

"You got a problem with that DiNozzo?" queries Gibbs entering the bullpen.

"No problem. No problem at all Boss. I'm just a little surprised that's all." Gibbs' lips twitch in what might be the beginning of a smile.

"Well I turned McGee down when he first asked."

"And then he turned me down" adds Ziva. "So we had to get a higher power to intervene."

"The Director?" asks Tony looking up to where she is standing outside MTAC talking with Cynthia.

"No, that would be me" sings out Abby bouncing into the bullpen sipping a Caf-Pow! with Ducky at her side.

"And Ducky has the rest of the present."

"There's more?"

"The icing on the cake as it were. You know this reminds me of the time..."

"Ducky!" the team protests simultaneously.

"Sorry. My bridge partner owns a luxury car dealership downtown and so I arranged a test drive of a Ferrari for you this afternoon. Here's the keys." He hands them over.

"Well we'd better get going then." As he passes by Gibbs the Boss head slaps him.

"Ouch!"

"Haven't you forgotten something DiNozzo?" Tony looks puzzled for a moment.

"Oh. Thanks guys. This is the best present ever. Thanks so much." Gibbs nods and Tony and Tom leave. As they are waiting for the elevator he hears Ziva enquiring"We have cake?"

* * *

Any resemblance between a character in this story and any living actor is purely a coincidence!


	2. Ziva

NCIS Squad Room. The next day.

McGee walks into the bullpen to find DiNozzo staring distractedly into space.

"Hey Tony, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, McNosy. I'm just finalising my gift list. I've got one more person to buy for and I have no idea what to get."

"Gibbs?"

"Ziva. What do you buy a crazy ninja chick assassin?"

"Mmmm. That is a tough one." Tim thinks a moment. "I know. She's always wanted a letter opener like yours. Why don't you get her one?" Tony just stares at him.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"Do you really think that giving Ziva a _knife_, to keep on her desk is a good idea probie? Remember what she did with the stapler last time she couldn't open her email?"

"Yeah. I don't think I'll ever look at a stapler the same way again." McGee grins.

"So what can I get her?" Tony whines.

"I know what you'll be getting DiNozzo if you don't get back to work" barks Gibbs entering the room.

"On it Boss." Tony returns to work still pondering on what to get Ziva.

NCIS Squad Room. Several hours later.

"Yes! I've got it!"

"Got what Tony?"

"Never you mind Zee-vah. Never you mind."

Ziva glares at him. Sometimes her colleague could be so childish that she regretted the promise she had made to Jenny on joining NCIS that she would never hurt a co-worker. Fortunately the Director had been realistic and not insisted she promise to never torture a co-worker and she'd had much fun teasing Tony over the years.

NCIS Squad Room. The next day.

"What is this Tony?" Ziva asks lifting a brightly wrapped package from her desk.

"It's a happy Hanukkah slash thanks-for-my-present present." Tony grins at her.

"Thank you DiNozzo." She unwraps and smiles at him. "Oh Tony. It is perfect. Thank you so much. I can think of many times I will be able to use this."

"Not on us I hope" interjects Tim from his desk. Ziva just smiles.

"Zee-vah?" questions Tony looking slightly panicky.

"That depends Tony."

"On what?"

"On how you behave."

Tony and Tim exchange a horrified glance as Ziva stores the super sized box of paperclips in her desk making sure the box is in easy reach for the next time she needs them.


	3. Tim

NCIS Squad Room. A week before Christmas.

Tony is glaring at his computer screen. Gibbs had returned his case report for a re-write but after working on it for an hour it was time to take a break and indulge in one of his favorite pastimes annoy-the-probie.

"Hey, McRomeo."

Tim looks over from his desk. "What?"

"Who was that babe I saw you talking to at the vending machines earlier?"

McGee grins. "Why do you want to know Tony?"

"Well I haven't seen her before and besides...."

"Besides what Tony?" queries Tim impatiently.

"Any hot women around here should be dealing with me. I am the senior field agent after all."

"I really don't think she's your type Tony."

"Curvaceous. Younger than me. Good dress sense. Not a redhead. Why isn't she my type?"

"She works in cyber crimes Tony."

"Oh. Hmm. I guess no-one is perfect including yours truly. What's her name?"

Sighing McGee gives in. "She is Special Agent Angie B...." he stops and grins at Tony.

"Don't make me come over there probie" Tony glares at him.

"You're the senior field agent. You can find out if you really want to."

"O.K. then." They both return to their reports as Ziva enters the room.

"Abby wants you downstairs McGee."

"Did she say why?"

"Something about tcp connections. I did not understand what she said." Tim leaves.

"Tony I need you to sign these for me." Ziva drops some cards on his desk before sitting at her own.

"Sure. What are they?" he asks as he begins to read them. She doesn't reply.

"No!"

"Tony?"

"I will not do this. Ziva you can not ask this of me. There are...." he flicks through the cards counting them as he goes. "There are twelve of these."

"I know" she responds calmly.

"I won't do it. Why should I do it?"

"Because I asked you to" Ziva suggests with a mischievous smile.

"There are many things I would do for you Officer David but this is asking too much."

"Oh." The smile leaves her face to be replaced by a much more serious and deadly look. "I was hoping I would not have to do this."

"Do what?" he queries turning slightly pale as she rises from her chair and crosses the room to him.

"This. If you do not do this for me I will....." she leans over and whispers in his ear. DiNozzo pushes his chair back as far as he can in the confined space wishing he was anywhere else.

"O.K. O.K. I'll sign." He does and hands them back to her.

"Thank you Tony."

"You're quite welcome Ziva." He lets out a small sigh of relief as she returns to her desk. When she wanted to be Ziva was one _very_ scary ninja chick.

NCIS Squad Room. A few days before Christmas.

"And this is for you McGee. A small celebrating the holiday season and end of the year something from me." She hands him an envelope.

"Thanks Ziva. This is really nice of you." He removes the cards from within wondering why Tony is glaring at him. Then as he realises what they are he begins to understand. He glances uncertainly at Tony and then at Ziva.

"Ah.... Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can accept this."

Ziva looks hurt. "Why not?"

"Well Tony might... that is..." McGee stutters not knowing quite how to express his fear.

"It's O.K. probie-one. Ziva and I have an understanding.I will honor the cards and there will be no come back on you." Tony interrupts sulkily. As McGee's mind starts to consider the many possibilities of what an understanding between his colleagues might consist of Tony continues.

"I have one condition though."

"Tony!"

"No, it's alright Ziva. What is the condition Tony?"

"That you can only use one card a month."

"I accept. Thanks again Ziva. This was great idea."

"What was?" asks Abby as she enters the room.

"Ziva got me some amazing gift cards for the coming year."

"Ziva did? What are the cards for?"

"A senior agent teasing free day." Tim replies with a big grin looking pointedly at DiNozzo.

"A what?"

"A day when Tony agrees not to call me any variation of probie, mc-anything or headslap me."

"What a fantastic gift idea. That was very creative of you Ziva."

"Thanks." She smiles at her colleagues for although it was a perfect gift for Tim what they failed to realise was that it was a gift for her too. She really was going to enjoy seeing Tony honor the cards and if he didn't.....well she could have some fun with that too!!


	4. Gibbs

Abby's Lab. A few days before Christmas.

Abby is seated at her desk entering information into the computer with music blaring away as usual. Suddenly the room falls silent.

"Gibbs! You know I can't work without my music." He just stares at her. Although she has a pretty good idea what this is about she acts as if she doesn't. "Is there something I can help you with Bossman?"

He places an envelope on her desk. "You know I can't accept this Abby."

"Don't go getting all hinky on me. Of course you can." She grins.

"Abs!"

"It has been a long year for all of us Boss and you more than anyone need a break but I know you wouldn't take it unless someone made you so I booked and talked to the Director and Franks and..."

"Abs!"

"All the arrangements are made. I won't be here but Ducky said he can take you to the airport. All you have to do is pack. Don't you want to see your god daughter?"

"Yes but I had plans this Christmas Abby."

"Let me guess. The boat and some bourbon?"

He smiles ruefully. "Yes but I suppose I can change my plans. Thanks for the tickets and making the arrangements Abby."

"You're quite welcome. Besides Franks said something about a hot tub?"

Gibbs laughs and hugs her.


	5. An NCIS Carol

McGee stops in the doorway of Abby's lab. There is no music playing but as she twirls around the room going about her work Abby is singing to herself.

"And DiNozzo getting his head slapped."  
"What are you doing Abby?"  
"Oh, goody. I'm so glad you're here. Sit down." She orders peremptorily.  
"Why?"  
"While major mass spec does his thing I'm practicing my item for the Christmas party. I need an audience and here you are. Can you have a listen and tell me what you think?"  
"Sure." Things were fairly slow in the squad room and anyway he wouldn't mind a sneak peak at Abby's item. It was always one of the most eagerly awaited moments of the party second only to Gibbs turn as Santa Claus.  
"I've Abbyised the twelve days of Christmas."  
"Abbyised it?"  
"Yeah. I've put an NCIS spin on it." She begins to sing.  
"On the first day of Christmas NCIS gave to me,  
DiNozzo getting his head slapped."  
"I love it so far but maybe for this preview you should just sing it from day twelve" he interrupts.  
"O.K." She takes a deep breath and then belts out.

"On the twelfth day of Christmas NCIS gave to me,  
Twelve body parts,  
Eleven agents a-working,  
Ten fingerprints AFIS-matched,  
Nine suspects a-lying,  
Eight Zivaisms,  
Seven names to call Mc McGee,  
Six Caf-Pows!,  
Five things to analyze,  
Four Mallard memories,  
Three ex-wives bitchin',  
Two dead Marines  
And DiNozzo getting his head slapped.

So what do you think? I was thinking about my workplace gave to me and I'm not sure about eleven..."  
"It's perfect Abby. Though I'm not sure about three. The Boss might think it's about him. How about three directors dancing?"  
"Maybe. Are you writing these ideas down McGee?"  
"Sure." As he gets out his pda to begin making notes Tim starts to sing "And DiNozzo getting his head slapped." It really was quite a catchy little number.


	6. Abby

Abby's Lab. A Few Days Before Christmas.

"We need to talk Abby."  
"What's up Bossman?"  
"It's about your Christmas gift."  
"Have you got it yet? Give me a hint. Come on just a little hint. You always pick the best gifts Gibbs. I mean my birthday present was just perfect and..."  
"Abs!"  
"Did you lose it or break it or something?"  
"No."  
"Then what's wrong?"  
"I'm just not sure how you'll feel about it but Ducky and I decided that you really do need it and persuaded the Director to take action."  
"The Director?"  
"Yes. I've persuaded him to arrange his budget to allow an assistant to be appointed on a part time basis to help you here in the lab."  
"No!" She glares at him. "Gibbs that is not a good idea. I won't accept it."  
"Look I know you've had some issues with assistants in the past..."  
"ISSUES? One of them tried to kill me Gibbs."  
"I am well aware of that but you can't keep working at the intensity you do without help. All that Caf-Pow! and lack of sleep is not good for you. So Ducky and I have arranged an assistant we're sure you'll like."  
"Who?" her glare softens as she becomes curious.  
"Jimmy Palmer. Ducky says he is a keen student and has expressed an interest in widening his duties at NCIS. We got the Director to agree to a three month trial of Palmer's time here being divided between the lab and autopsy."  
"Oh, Gibbs that is a great idea. I'm sure Jimmy and I will work well together." She jumps up from her chair and throws her arms around him in a bone crushing hug.  
"Merry Christmas Abby."  
"Merry Christmas."


	7. Ducky

NCIS Squad Room. A Few Days Before Christmas.  
"And this is for you Ducky."  
"Thank you my dear." Abby paces between the desks hardly able to contain her excitement as Ducky unwraps his parcel and opens the case within watched by his colleagues. The doctor smiles. "Oh, Abigail they are perfect. Exactly what I need and the highest quality. However did you know?"  
"Well I got some advice from our resident expert in this area."  
"Mr Palmer?"  
"No, Ziva but it was Jimmy's idea originally."  
"Then I thank them too."  
"You're welcome" respond Ziva and Palmer together.  
"There is just one small thing that worries me though."  
"What's that Duckman?"  
"Ah."  
"Come on doctor spit it out."  
"No offence intended Abigail but I do know what a set of dissecting knives like this must have cost. Are you sure you can afford it?"  
"It's O.K. " She smiles at him.  
"Why did you get Jethro to threaten the director to get them issued?"  
"No. We all chipped in so it wasn't that expensive."  
"Thank you. You know seeing a set of knives like this reminds me of the time in Paris..."  
"Ducky!" The team cries out in simultaneous protest. "Mm. Maybe I'll tell you later. Now whose is the next gift?"


	8. Getting It Bad

NCIS Squad Room. A Few Days Before Christmas.

"No, Tony it should go like this."  
"But probie I think..."  
"What are you guys doing?" Ziva queries as she walks into the room. The guys look up from something they are examining on DiNozzo's desk. They both have very guilty expressions on their faces.  
"Nothing" they respond simultaneously.  
"What sort of nothing?" She gives them her special tell-me-now-or-I'll-have-to-kill-you stare.  
"It was all Tony's idea." McGee returns to his desk.  
"Thanks McTattletale." Tony glares at him. "All we're doing since work is so slow at the moment is preparing..." He pauses and looks around to make sure he's not being overheard. "Our challenger in the interoffice paper plane comp. I really want to beat those cyber crime nerds this year." He grins at her with that particular grin that if she didn't find it almost irresistible would probably make her want to punch him.  
"Oh, is that all. I thought it was something serious." She sits at her desk.  
"How can you say it's not serious? The honor of team Gibbs is at stake. The pride. The glory. The..."  
"If Gibbs catches you it will not be good." She hurriedly interrupts knowing it is always best to stop him before he gets too carried away.  
"Relax Ziva. He's out of the office all day at some thing with Vance. How could he know?"  
"He's Gibbs. He always..." Her response is stopped by the ringing of a phone and they all turn to stare at it. "I bet that's him now."  
Tim picks it up. "McGee." He listens a moment. "Okay. I'll be right down." He hangs up. "Abby wants me to help her with something in the lab." He leaves.  
"Man, he's got it bad." Tony smiles.  
"Got what bad? Not poison ivy again I hope. He really should learn to identify it." She rolls her eyes.  
"No, Ziva not poison ivy. I'm talking about love."  
"Love?"  
"The torch McHopelesslyDevoted is still holding for our mistress of the lab."  
"Torch? What _are_ you talking about?"  
"I am talking Ziva about the crush McGee still has on Abby. I bet he can't wait to try out that new sofa bed I hear she's getting for holiday guests."  
"I thought that was over years ago? Besides what do you think she will say about it?"  
"Hmm. Good point." Pondering that mystery they return to work.

Meanwhile Down In The Lab.

"Hey Abby what did you need my help with?"  
"All this." She waves her hand at the long table in her office that is covered with packages, rolls of wrapping paper, tape, scissors and ribbon. "I sent out the ones I needed to post weeks ago and of course I've done the ones for team Gibbs but you know the party is tonight and I still need to do all those for the other agents and the admin staff and I mustn't forget the security guys and..."  
"Take a breath Abs." He looks at his watch. "There's still plenty of time and I'm happy to help."  
"Thanks Timmy. I can always count on you."  
"So, where shall we start?"  
"Well the most difficult thing will probably be this so how about we do it first."  
He stares in amazement at the item she's holding up. "Bert? You're giving someone Bert for Christmas?"  
"No. Don't be silly. This isn't Bert. I had Carol make me an exact copy. Special agent McGee meet Ernie." She smiles as she holds out the stuffed hippo to him.  
"Ah. Hi Ernie." He can't quite believe he's greeting a stuffed toy but then since knowing Abby he'd done a lot of strange things. "Who are you going to give him to?"  
"Director Vance of course." She replies as if it's the most logical answer to that question.  
"What? Have you being overindulging in the caf-nog again?"  
"I was babysitting for Leon and Jackie a few weeks ago and took Bert along to keep me company after the kids were in bed. Kayla adored him, well who wouldn't and begged me to keep him."  
"Ahh."  
"Anyway I couldn't let that happen so when she got a bit tearful I promised I'd bring him by to visit and made up a story about his friend Ernie. When Vance gives him to her on Christmas day he'll be the coolest dad ever." She grins.  
"That makes perfect sense. Now let's get back to it." As they scrounge for a suitable box to place Ernie in Abby begins to hum. To McGee it sounds suspiciously like the tune to the twelve days of Christmas.


	9. Doing It For The Kids

Washington, D.C. Not Christmas time.

"Remind me again why we're doing this McSweaty."  
"Because we wanted to."  
"No, that's not it."  
"Because it makes us feel good."  
"Hmm."  
"Because we couldn't avoid it any longer."  
"Getting warmer. No pun intended." He grins.  
"Because we made a promise?"  
"I guess so but did it have to be today? I mean it's so hot. I bet some kind of record is being broken." He glares at his colleague.  
"There's nothing we can do about that so will you stop moaning."  
"What did you say?' Tony holds up a dripping sponge and takes a step towards Tim who hastily steps back.  
"Nothing."  
DiNozzo holds the sponge over his head and squeezes watching as the water trickles down his bare torso. Then he shakes his head splattering McGee with droplets and lets out a delighted laugh. "Phew! That's much better." He suddenly tosses the sponge at Tim who reflexively catches it against his chest.  
"Tony! Now I'm even more wet." Tim glares at him.  
"Well take off your shirt McWhiner. It's probably better for you in this heat anyway." He grins making a bet with himself what his partner's reaction will be. He is surprised to find he's predicted wrong.  
"I will." McGee removes his shirt and tosses it aside. As Tony opens his mouth to comment he is interrupted by Gibbs walking over. Despite the soaring heat he is sipping a coffee and looks cool and collected as always in jeans and a tight white t-shirt emblazoned with the words LA PD Our day begins when yours ends.  
"Play time's over boys."  
"On it Boss." As they get back to work and Gibbs takes a sip of his coffee Abby strolls over. She twirls her umbrella and grins at them.  
"Since this was your idea Abby why aren't you helping?" Tony stops again to ask.  
"In this dress DiNozzo?" Taking in her outfit he can see her point. "Besides I am helping. I've been collecting the money. We're on target to beat last year's effort. It's just so sad." She pouts.  
"What is Abs?" Gibbs takes another swallow of his coffee.  
"That a children's hospital, a hospital for sick kids needs to fund raise like this for extra equipment."  
"Hmm."  
"Mind you a car wash does have certain advantages." She grins running her eyes over McGee as he bends to dunk a sponge in a bucket.  
"That it does. That it does." Tony chimes in watching Ziva in a tight tank top and shorts at work on the other side of the car park. "Ouch." He rubs the back of his head. "What was that for?"  
"You know DiNozzo." Abby glares at him. "You promised me as a Christmas present to donate time to a charity and that's why you're here not to perve on Ziva." She grins.  
"Perve on Ziva? I wasn't...I wouldn't...I..." he stutters to a stop as he realises Abby, Gibbs and Tim are all trying desperately not to laugh. "Going to the head." He strolls away pretending not to hear the chuckles behind him and the others return to their tasks.

* * *

Hinted at Tiva and a touch of McAbby  
Casually dressed Gibbs to keep his fans happy  
Half-naked DiNozzo and McGee  
Oh, what a sight that would be to see  
This to you my Christmas gift  
To give shopping weary spirits a lift

MERRY CHRISTMAS


End file.
